And now, I have to grow up !!!

Well, has it ever happened to you when there are certain things you have to do but you're not able to for some apparent reason which you still haven't been able to figure out. This might have or not have happened with everyone of you out there, but if it has,you know what I am talking about. Well, there is a certain thing I have been wanting to do for the past 4 years almost but I just have never had the guts to just go ahead and click the send button on my e-mail. Its not that I don't want to do it. It's just that there's no point in digging out the dead and trying to make one live through something that is not even relevant anymore. I would not want anyone to do that to me, and I assume the same for others..... And since I haven't been able to send you the SORRY you deserved, I am posting the mail I had written to you in my blog. When, and if ever, you read it, you'll know its you I am talking about.... I don't want you to think I am taking an easy way out, but I also don't want you to have to go through all that again... Here's the apology you always deserved and the mail I had written for you... Wish you the best with everything you do... There's the e-mail you would have had if I would have had sent it to you !!!!

Hey,
How have you been ??? Its been ages since we last spoke. How are things with you - I hope everything is as you hoped it would be. And this is completely out-of-the-box kinda thingy... Don't be alarmed or shocked... Though I know this is completely random. Well, I do not have the exact words and I do not know what exactly I am supposed to say. Actually, this is not at all relate-able to the present and has nothing to do with anything right now. I do not know how meaningful and how logical or stupid it is of me to come up with it after all this time, but I have always wanted to do this, only that I have always been a wuss my whole life and I never had enough guts to say it to you. Well, this is totally irrelevant right now and I do not know what I am doing... I do not have the correct thing to say and this is not the correct time or place or not even right I guess... Anyhow, I hope you still remember that you had asked me out once during our last year in school, and I was very immature in the way I acted. So, here it is - I AM SORRY. I know this does not make any sense or any difference, and I hope it is no more important to you and that you do not even care, I really do. But I never apologized for what I did. We were friends for so long and you let me know how you felt about me, and all I did was write back to you and I did not even have the decency to talk about it or at least explain it to you. Rather, what I do is I send you a letter through someone else's hand and then, never speak to you again. I am not trying to remind you of the past and I am not trying to come clean. I am sorry things did not work out, and I am sorry for acting the way I did. I was only a kid then, and I know this does not make my actions any less than they were. I was never ready for anything like that, but I should have been man enough to tell you the truth the way you deserved to know. I may have hurt you, and if I did, I want you to know that I am extremely sorry for it. I am sure you have moved on and found better things in life. I was wrong in the way I acted and so, I am sorry and its totally understandable if you don't even reply. I wish you the best with everything you do. And I truly hope that if ever we come across each other in the future, we would not turn our backs on each other and at least say hello, if nothing more. I wish you the best for your future !!!

Still amateur,
:D !!!

And that's how it is.. People meet, Love happens !!!

Well, saw this Nepali movie today..don't know exactly how many years since I last saw one and can't say how long till I see another... Well, liked the movie, not really the story line or the acting ( they were all new-comers so have to give them the benefit-of-doubt... but they could have tightened their acting skills... loved the actress though :D.... well, only reason I liked the movie... its a good leap forward for the Nepali movie industry with better promotions and better picture quality.... and also the guy's character in the movie.. Well, not trying to be a critic here... Don't really know enough to be one... but I loved the whole character of the guy and the girl... Not really fond of romantic movies, and its not the story I liked about the movie... The guy pretty much resembled how I would react to such a situation and I could relate to the whole phase of being reluctant, scared and idiotic... well, life's too short to live it perfectly you see... Its always fun to goof up, mess up a bit... lets not spend the only opporto we have to live as a human by being reluctant to get down and dirty... drench yourself in the rain, spill the hot-dog sauce on your shirt, step on to a puddle of mud water... see a sun-rise... watch it set... go for a hike, ride a bicycle.... just do something you would not do everyday if only for the sole reason of the excitement of trying out new things... you know you will never get this day back... there may be another august 28 or another Thursday, but its not going to be Thursday, the 28th of August, 2009 again... Even if you repeat every single detail of the day just so that you could do it once more...time lost is time gone... and its nothing alarming if you don;t do anything productive every single day... hey, we're humans and not robots.... I liked the thing on the movie,.. "People meet... Love happens"... which reminds me of this hilarious advertisement about a dating site that says...To fall in love, you need somebody to fall in love with".. hahaha...everyone knows that already... I loved how the guy lets the girl go away because he does not want to tie up the girl and bind her within boundaries or responsibilities or within a periphery... If things are meant to happen, it will happen... It sure will... Lets see what happens with you and me:D !!!

Have to broaden my mind !!!

There are soo many things I don't know... Yet, I tend to be judgemental of others.. They say, " One who lives in a glass-house should not throw stones at others."... Yet, there are times, time and again, when I am too quick to make my perception of someone or something without putting any effort into understanding how so and such came to be....I have always heard about the thing where it says never to judge a book by its cover... And I try my best not to do so. But then, there are times when I do not even realize but I had already ended up making my mind as to what so and such meant for me. And when it strikes me, only then do I understand that I was bit too amature and quick and wrong in my deeds. At such times, I question myself as to what gives me the right to even question someone else's actions or to decide on whether they deserve my appreciation or not. They are not doing it for my acknowledgement or my approval. I have failed to understand that the world does not revolve around me and my judgements and that irrespective of what I think or say or do, the world will still go on and they will still do what they do, be it for their own interests or for someone beside my pleasure. They have as much right to follow their aspirations and dreams like I follow mine and I have no need what-so-ever to be nosy into their business. But I still have not been able to make myself do that. I still make judgements, I still make mistakes, yet I tend to think that if they're not appealing to me, then they're not talented or important. We, as humans,( I do not want to generalize the whole of mankind, but this is what I think - another judgement...:s) have never really tried to understand someone else's position when we are on the higher pedestal, and we push them aside or make fun of them throwing away all their efforts down the drain just because we think their work isn't anything out-of-ordinary and rather unimportant, while in reality, they've put in all they could which is anything but ordinary, and still we are not considerate... I don't know how we as humans could have such constrained minds.. And I was no exception... Life's too complicated perhaps !!